An email to Forward

Oh, this one's a gem!! Check it out...

"My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to "forward" me mails over the past 12 months. Thank you for making
me feel safe, secure, blessed and Healthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat piss in the glue on
envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal
an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because
of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it
can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft, Nokia and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people
in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will
land on your head at 5:00 PM ( CAT ) this afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

DO IT NOW OR ELSE."