Monday, March 26, 2007

Collection of Wisdom (Part 1)

I finally had the time to sift through my old email accounts & find those amazing one-liners I talked about earlier. Here they are, at least the first part of a few series I'm publishing soon. Please enjoy, and my apologies to those that believe I'm actually referring to them!:)
  1. The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  2. Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
  3. Never attribute to Stupidity, that can be explained by Malice.
  4. Everyone has the right to be stupid. Management abuse this privilege.”
  5. If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, management will.
  6. The Romans did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
  7. The smaller the function, the Higher the management position.
  8. When your boss is so ignorant that cannot tell the difference between 10% or 100% of your work, give the him/her 10% and explain that this is the maximum you can do!
  9. Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
  10. A bus Station is where the bus stops. A train Station is where the train stops. On my desk, I have a work Station………….... what more can I say!?
  11. A great man is hard on himself; a small man is hard on others.
  12. Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
  13. Management: Experts in making issues of non-issues, to never address the real issues.
  14. If you feel like doing some work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away.
  15. I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss people off at the same time.
  16. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
  17. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
  18. Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
  19. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  20. It takes very little effort to be extremely ignorant!

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