I finally had the time to sift through my old email accounts & find those amazing one-liners I talked about earlier. Here they are, at least the first part of a few series I'm publishing soon. Please enjoy, and my apologies to those that believe I'm actually referring to them!:)
- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Never attribute to Stupidity, that can be explained by Malice.
- Everyone has the right to be stupid. Management abuse this privilege.”
- If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, management will.
- The Romans did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
- The smaller the function, the Higher the management position.
- When your boss is so ignorant that cannot tell the difference between 10% or 100% of your work, give the him/her 10% and explain that this is the maximum you can do!
- Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
- A bus Station is where the bus stops. A train Station is where the train stops. On my desk, I have a work Station………….... what more can I say!?
- A great man is hard on himself; a small man is hard on others.
- Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Management: Experts in making issues of non-issues, to never address the real issues.
- If you feel like doing some work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away.
- I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss people off at the same time.
- Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
- A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
- Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
- It takes very little effort to be extremely ignorant!
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